Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Sleepless in SE16.

"Talking in bed ought to be easiest," wrote Philip Larkin. "Yet more and more time passes silently..."

Well, I know something else that's supposed to be easiest in bed: sleeping. (Stop sniggering at the back.) But if you don't get home from work until after well after midnight (sometimes 4am) and your bedfellow starts the day at seven in the morning, you've got problems.

As previously discussed, my dear boyfriend moved into a new flat which only an estate agent would describe as having two double bedrooms. In fact it has one, and a cell. Also, since his housemate, The Gripper, bought two kittens it also smells quite strongly of wee and there is quite a high chance of being gored by a Bengal if you move your toe too quickly. To cap it all, his computer's power supply has burned (possibly after coming into contact with cat wee) so he's pretty much moved into my bedroom.

This has its advantages, of course: shoulder massages on tap and regular deposits of Green & Black's chocolate on the bedside table. But the downside is that I now have a bedtime. And so I lie awake at night listening to his gentle snores, and then hours later he inevitably wakes me up getting ready to work and I'm incredibly mean to him because I'm nasty when I'm semi-conscious.

It seems like such a trivial subject, but I think sleep is the natural function that's most been disturbed by modern life. We spend the day dosing ourselves with caffeine, before crawling into bed for six or so hours of interrupted, restless slumber. Then trying to catch up with missed sleep whenever we get a chance and waking up groggy, knowing we've gone too far.

And living in London just makes things worse: my bedroom actually shakes a little when buses go over the speed bumps outside, and it's never fully dark. I'm sure I read somewhere that sleeping with the light on gives you breast cancer.

So, I've become convinced that none of this can be good for me - but what can I do? Give up a job I love so I can sleep at the same time as everyone else? No. Insist on separate bedrooms? No. Start drinking heavily in the evenings? Er, maybe.

All I want is a good night's sleep. It ought to be easy.

11 Comments:

Anonymous pia said...

How about ear plugs and one of those silk eye-mask things? I might buy you them for christmas...the karaoke songs I'm planning to get are perhaps a more selfish gift...!

12/13/2006 5:33 pm  
Anonymous galatea said...

Well, I suppose I could sing myself to sleep.. or, more likely, tire myself out trying to nail the rap from Hit Em Up Style.

12/13/2006 5:36 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh, and ear plugs scare me. What if I rolled over on something pointy and speared one into my brain?

12/13/2006 5:37 pm  
Anonymous laura said...

Also, be grateful you're not in a single bed with a bike chained to it as The Gripper and I were for a rather long time.

12/13/2006 8:07 pm  
Blogger gossamer said...

Melatonin works wonders for falling asleep--even if you sleep with someone who snores. Just take it half an hour before bed or so.

12/13/2006 9:30 pm  
Blogger gossamer said...

Melatonin works wonders for falling asleep--even if you sleep with someone who snores. Just take it half an hour before bed or so.

12/13/2006 9:31 pm  
Blogger gossamer said...

Melatonin works wonders for falling asleep--even if you sleep with someone who snores. Just take it half an hour before bed or so.

12/13/2006 9:32 pm  
Anonymous Laura said...

Also.....are you *still* singing Hit Em Up Style? And without *me*?!

12/13/2006 10:37 pm  
Anonymous some cunt off of the interspazz said...

"I'm sure I read somewhere that sleeping with the light on gives you breast cancer."

It was your place of work I'm afraid. Also New Scientist did a piece a while back about how the whole sleep thing will be sorted thanks to pills that will basically knock you out and wake you up on cue, coming to a chemist's near you in a few years.

12/14/2006 3:39 am  
Blogger LĂ©onie said...

Just don't have a job! My God, am I the only one with any sense around here?

Being nasty in the mornings is entirely justified. A top tip: keep a jabby stick under your pillow in case any conversations are initiated while you are trying to sleep.

12/19/2006 2:13 am  
Blogger tpraja said...

Have you seen the new India search engine www.ByIndia.com they added all the cool features of popular products like MySpace, YouTube, Ebay, Craigslist, etc. all for free to use and specifically for India. Anyone else try this yet?

ByIndia.com First to Blend Search, Social Network, Video Sharing and Auctions Into One Seamless Product for Indian Internet Users.

12/19/2006 5:37 pm  

Post a Comment

<< Home