Wednesday, August 02, 2006

It's as if they don't care about the words

Zoo "magazine" has perpetrated the worst subbing error I have EVER SEEN on its front cover this week. Under the heading, "GIRLS GETTING WET" it proudly declares, "Zoo flaunts the hosepipe ban!"

Well, as any fule kno, the word they are looking for is "flout", meaning "defy". The only way one could flaunt a hosepipe ban would be, say, to write "There's a hosepipe ban" across some girl's tits and get her to wiggle them in people's faces.

Actually, maybe I should give them the benefit of the doubt, as that sounds like something they would do.

P.S. If you look at their website, you'll notice they at least have someone there who can spell.

Update: Unable to let the matter rest, I emailed Zoo in the strongest possible terms:

Dear Zoo,

I realise the majority of Zoo's readers do not buy the magazine for its devotion to the English language, but are you aware what a prize bunch of prats you look for putting "flaunt" instead of "flout" on the front page this week? I suggest you stop thinking up ever more ridiculous synonyms for the word "breasts" for five minutes and go buy a dictionary.

I'll let you know if they reply.


Anonymous ms. mc said...

Let's only hope they can beat FHM in our banter with them.

I'm saddened that you didn't point out to them the possibilities of flounting the hosepipe ban. They could have done that spread next week and dedicated it to you.

8/02/2006 5:34 pm  
Blogger The Capgras Delusion said...

You are my kind of pedant.
I know about twenty-eight synonyms for breasts, by the way.

8/02/2006 10:32 pm  
Blogger galatea said...

Twenty-eight? I'm sure there are more: tits, waps, baps, boobs, bazookas, bristols, jugs, funbags, rib lamps, mammaries (see also the elusive "mammary department"), twin orbs, chest pillows, honkers, hooters, melons, knockers, maracas, rack, chestlights, shirt puppies, boosies, cans, shelf, bumps, gazongas, the twins, norks, bust, zeppelins.

There - twenty eight without even breaking a sweat. And I didn't even resort to "ladybits". My application to work as a feature writer on FHM is in the post.

8/03/2006 12:47 am  
Blogger galatea said...

The FHM writer's Holy Grail.

8/03/2006 12:54 am  
Blogger Léonie said...

My favourite is honkers. Closely followed by funbags.

When I moved into my current flat we inherited a subscription to Zoo magazines. For two feminists and a gay man, this went down an absolute storm.

8/03/2006 1:18 pm  
Blogger Pie said...

I hope they publish your email, I might even buy their magazine to find out (bought it once but it was pretty naff).

8/03/2006 1:50 pm  
Anonymous lb said...

I have seen the magazine on newsstands and the like; I think I might even have read it over someone's shoulder once. FHM is by far the superior publication though.

Bit disappointed to see that Wikipedia had missed the phrase "tits like frogs in a balloon". Although on reflection it should really be "two frogs in two balloons", though that doesn't sound as good. Um.

8/04/2006 9:59 am  
Blogger Kieran said...

It comes with words? Well I never.

word verification = "ponguin"
What's it trying to say?

8/04/2006 3:34 pm  
Anonymous Boom-p-ting said...

Beam me up a copy of the Profanisaurus Rex. I wonder if the hosepipe blunder was as a consequence of this wonderful tome taking the place of the dictionary (A Beginner’s First Words edition) on Zoo’s desk(s).

‘Twin orbs’ though? That sounds strangely (if fascinatingly) sci-fi somehow. I assume 'boosies' should say 'boobies' too, otherwise my radar's *all* out of whack. Surely ‘bumps’ should more strictly be ‘lady bumps’ as well?

8/04/2006 3:54 pm  
Anonymous galatea said...

Nope, boosies is correct. I would refer you to The Darling Buds of May, among other works, to confirm this.

I did of course also miss out the excellent "bubbies", which were best deployed in Shakespeare in Love ("I saw 'im! I saw 'im kissin her bubbies!")

I would also like to point out that the list I posted earlier actually contained 29 items.

Oh, and they haven't replied. Bastards.

8/04/2006 6:49 pm  
Blogger The Capgras Delusion said...

You win! I've passed your name onto the Daily Sport.

(P.S. Does the Daily Sport still exist? I used to buy the odd copy in my formative, acne-ridden years... such happy memories)

8/05/2006 9:49 am  
Blogger Aidan said...

Maybe you're being a little harsh - it may not be illiteracy that's to blame, but poor eyesight among the staff.

For whatever reason...

8/06/2006 5:54 pm  
Blogger Spangly Princess said...

haha am going to try to be amused rather than merely dispirited by this latest evidence of burgeoning national illiteracy

I always find it disconcerting that the word for bosom in italian is masculine. (il seno)

8/07/2006 5:22 pm  
Blogger * (asterisk) said...

Buy a copy of tattoo mag Skin Deep for more subbing mistakes than you can shake a stick at. I have offered my services on more than one occasion. I bet they especially liked my e-mail that said something along the lines of "If only one good thing comes out of 9/11 I hope it's that [the editor] learns that Manhattan is not spelled Manhatten."

8/08/2006 11:14 pm  

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