things to do in work when it's dead
My job involves a lot of waiting. This presents a problem: obviously I can't whip out War and Peace and start slogging on through that; neither can I bring myself to read every article in the paper; neither can I play Slime Volleyball. So I have begun a search for internet sites which look informative, but are entertaining.
Top of my list is the dreadfully-designed, yet endlessly amusing, Capalert.com. It's run by nutty American Christians, and claims to provide "objective" reviews of Hollywood films. The trouble is, the folks at Capalert disapprove of practically everything that constitutes a film. Take for example, American Psycho, the first film ever to garner a Zero rating. I can see their point about the sex, cannibalism and chainsaw murdering, but I think objecting to 'two abbreviations of "Christmas" without "Christ"' is probably splitting hairs.
I think my favourite bit is probably the terribly earnest script analysis, with reference to the Bible. For example, on the surely-blameless Calendar Girls, the writer fumes, "There are many "religious" paintings of nudity. With the approval of the church. But God did not put them there. Nor did Jesus. Man did." Quite. Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles gets blasted for showing the "nearly naked" bottoms of transvestites and for suggesting homosexuality might be acceptable. Also, there is the matter of the main characters' living arrangements: "Though Paul and Linda are actually married in real life, Mick and Sue are cohabitating [Hebr. 13:4; 1 Cor. 7:1-2] and apparently have been for longer than nine years since they have a nine year old son."
Some other gems:
Anyway, if you think that this is just about sniggering at religious fanatics, you'd be wrong. I'm actually making an important point about the ridiculousness of the Government's Religious Hatred Bill.
Yeah, and sniggering at the word "Uranus", too.