Thursday, September 15, 2005

numerology

before we start: best news story of the week
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those of you who know me in 3D form will be aware of my deep disdain for horoscopes, homeopathy, religion, shampoo commercials and other spurious claptrap.

but perhaps i will have to recant, slightly, for word reaches me (from my train-loving friend Laura) that an exciting new form of psychological bollocks has hoved into view. it's called numerology, and it's basic premise is that the universe is run by numbers - so far so good - and that "the occult manner in which they reflect certain aptitudes and character tendencies [is] an integral part of the cosmic plan." (more here)

Right. Apparently, "Each letter has a numeric value that provides a related cosmic vibration. The sum of the numbers in your birth date and the sum of value derived from the letters in the name provide an interrelation of vibrations."

Well, I was all set to guffaw at their championing of 'interrelated vibrations' (not in front of the children, dear) until Laura pointed out that certain combinations of days and months of birth give 'master numbers', repeated digits like 11, 22, 33.

Needless to say, Laura's date of birth makes her a 'master' - 22/4. She writes proudly: "When you read about 22/4s we have a special ‘life purpose’ – we are the ‘leaders’ of this world, CEOs, Prime Ministers, etc (Maggie Thatcher was a 22/4). This made sense."

Oh dear, I thought. It's time to ring the hospital. No one give her her own secure compound, hundreds of white robed followers, and a job lot of 'special' Kool-Aid, for god's sake. But then she continued:

"So I started to think about other people who might have 22/4. Went through everyone I know and no-one else was a 22/4. HOWEVER – guess who the only other master number I know is?
That’s right – you! You are a 33/6. And get this – you have the ‘gift’ of ‘creativity and communication’. You are to go into the world and be a great communicator."

Further investigation revealed that as a 33/6, i am entitled to priority seating in restaurants, my pick of England's public schoolboys for a spouse, and the freedom of the city of Brighton. Well, perhaps not. But soon!

33/6s, however, are known in numerology thus:

"The 33/6 is a champion of the underdog and exudes compassion, love, and empathy. This master number willingly gives of itself, lending encouragement and heartfelt understanding to all who need help. It’s thought that the 33/6 has Christ-like qualities of sacrificing itself for the sake of others. However, because of their tenderheartedness and sensitivity, 33/6’s can easily be swept into the despair of others, feeling the deep pain of the world."

Well, it's uncanny isn't it? How can you argue with that? I feel the deep pain of the world (have you read my nauseatingly adolescent poetry?) and if anything, I'd like to "give of myself" on a slightly more regular basis.

So, my question is: does anyone have any friends who believe in this stuff who will worship me as the messiah?

7 Comments:

Anonymous leflange said...

I don't understand 33/6, but I'm a humourless moron at times...

Also, why do you shily refer to this person as "L" at the start before calling her "Laura" thereafter?

You've really confused me now, and on my lunch hour, too.

9/16/2005 2:00 pm  
Blogger galatea said...

oh balls. so much for my super secret code, eh?

Although I guess I'll just go and amend it and make you look mad.

9/16/2005 2:33 pm  
Blogger one-step-removed said...

What I love about the Bush story, by the way, is this - his handwriting! No joined up letters, no distinction between capitals and lower case - this is clearly a man who doesn't do very much writing.

9/16/2005 10:34 pm  
Blogger galatea said...

sadly enough, i did have a book on graphology, called 'the hidden secrets of handwriting'. People who use capital letters are generally less literate - or, given that he's a Yale graduate, lapsing into capitals (which is against the 'law' of handwriting) could indicate that he's slapdash, that he just doesn't care about what are perceived to be the rules. It's a pretty interesting contrast to Tony Blair's handwriting, which is (if anything) a little flowery...

Perhaps a post on world leader's handwriting? It's not like I don't have the time...

9/19/2005 10:22 am  
Anonymous Laura (L) said...

Thanks for making me sound even more self-obsessed and arrogant than I usually manage. You could at least have prefaced this with an explanation of the Double Iron Fist and why my delusions of grandeur are not *quite* that insane.

9/19/2005 11:26 pm  
Blogger galatea said...

ho ho. but you are the evil left-liberal establishment to my plucky Daily Mail-esque underdog, you see.

I'm not having a good week for shamelessly mis-representing people in my blog, apparently. perhaps I could devote a whole post to how great you are: how majestic, yet humble; how lofty, yet still with the common touch; how your job is amazing, yet like Chandler in Friends, we have no idea what you really do.

9/21/2005 9:57 am  
Anonymous Laura said...

Geri Halliwell is a 33/6. You're in good company.

9/29/2005 11:09 am  

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