Saturday, June 04, 2005

tiny ginger beard.

it's been an odd week. since coming back from oxford and worcester, i feel like i've achieved a watershed, time to shrug off old worries and attitudes and embrace... well, new worries.

the project is going ok, I went to Borough food market for research, and came back with trotters. here's the rough draft of that bit:

"Having bought Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall’s love letter to animal farming, The River Cottage Meat Book, I went to Borough recently and bought two pig’s trotters for just 40 pence. Taking them out of the wrapper felt like a scene from a mafia movie. They just didn’t look like something you’d eat: the ankle still flexed a little, and as the bones were still in, they were heavy in my hand. I felt almost prurient prising apart the toes to inspect the dark, hairy web between them.

Opening the book, my heart sank further, as I read the introduction to the recipe for Chinese-style spare ribs and pig’s trotters: “Make sure that you remove all the hairs from the trotters – shave them with a razor if necessary.”. That was it. Food with toenails was bad enough – but food you have to shave first?"

they're still sitting in my fridge, like the sawn-off pig's legs they are.

went to the first night of derren brown's new tour, which was extremely exciting. if i'm honest, the first half was a little slow to get going. he also cocked up one of the tricks when he guessed the wrong person was telling the truth. at least we know they're not stooges, i guess.

in the second half he did some stuff which apparently he can't do on telly. it started with the old nail-in-the-nose trick. Sideshow bores like me can tell you that the trick utilises the secondary nasal cavity, which goes back into the head well below the brain. Still, nicely done, to music. He also did a classic "Human Blockhead" trick involving broken glass which made me wince, even though I should have known he wasn't going to slice himself open. Hopefully, if we continues the classic sideshow thing, we will see him on TV eating roadkill, bugs and so on like a Geek.

Talking of human variation, it cheered me to see on Jonathan Ross' chat show that Motley Crue have dwarves on stage with them on their latest tour. I think more rock stars should make an effort like this. Let's face it, you want to look at a music star and think, 'wow! imagine how much fun it must be to have that much money, and just piss it all away!'. it does me no good to see chris martin looking like a bulldog chewing a wasp when he's got pots of cash, a film star wife, a child and a permanent parking space on the moral high ground. cheer up, you think, it has actually happened!

anyway, i'm sure there are other blogs which can express right-thinking people's hatred of chris martin better than i can. back to the trotters.


Blogger The Grinch said...

Goodness. I wish I'd done something interesting for my project. You've got food you have to shave, and I've got human rights law and evasive Conservative MPs. Ooooh.

6/06/2005 2:23 pm  
Blogger The Grinch said...

Further to which, rumour has it that during the mid-to-late 1980s, around the time it all got seriously messy, Queen's Freddie Mercury used to host parties at which bald dwarves would wander about with piles of coke on their heads, the easier for revellers to snort from. This has never actually been substantiated, but then they said that about Led Zepellin, the prostitute and the swordfish too.

6/06/2005 2:27 pm  
Blogger The Grinch said...

Ooops, I believe Zeppelin is spelt wrong in the above post. My apologies. I was distracted by a tree.

6/06/2005 2:28 pm  
Blogger galatea said...

disgraceful behaviour.

i prefer the freddie mercury story about the rent boy with the prolapsed rectum.

"bring me another boy, this one is broken!"

6/08/2005 12:55 am  

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